Over the past couple years I’ve indulged in time traveling, dipping into my past, reliving certain times and eras and Googleing people and catching up with them. It’s been a great time. I never assume that anyone remembers me especially if it’s someone that I dated a few times back 20 years ago. They may have made an impression on me (no double entendre intended) but I can’t just take for granted that it works both ways.
When Facebook re-appeared so did a collection of friends and acquaintances from years past and there seems to be no end to the excavation. Just when I think I’ve exhausted everyone I’ve ever met, along comes a friend request for someone ‘new’. And that’s just been pretty damn amazing. There are a couple people in particular that sent my heart into paroxysm of joy when I saw their name on the friend request and a couple that I simply went “oh, you’re kidding, right?” (these would be people who made my life difficult who now want to be ‘friends’… you’re kidding, right? I know it’s been mumblty mumble years but honestly, really? Friends? No way. Ignore!)
But this morning the unthinkable happened: I got an email from a woman all enthusiastic about reconnecting mentioning a reunion and other friends. She was so excited to be in touch with me and I momentarily got wrapped up in it until I realized: I have no earthly idea who this woman is.
Now, I can name pretty much everyone in my kindergarten class picture (me with the clip on tie and bright sunny smile) and I know the name of my first grade teacher (Miss Trinka) and I remember vividly all the people I worked with at Tarkington, O’Connor, O’Neill (it’s funny that I don’t have dreams about that place to be honest considering I was there when the SF earthquake happened) and I even remember a few names and faces from my couple summers as a drama camp counselor and definitely remember all the counselors I worked with the four summers I was at Lutheran Association of Southwest Camping. I can tell you various people that I temped with at Burson Marsteller both in Chicago and here in New York and I even remember the name of the delightful neighbor I had across the hall in my second favorite apartment of all time in Chicago for whom I helped pass a class in children’s literature (she also brought me Thanksgiving dinner one year when I was sick as dog). I could tell you the names of the people that I worked with at Disney when I temped there a few days every month for two years ….
But this woman, I have no idea.
So I wrote and explained that she might have the wrong Andrew Altenburg and her reply was “If there is another one of you, he is the exact same age & looks just like you and is from the same area!” to which I am left with more “who the hell is this woman?” thoughts. I also noticed that she addressed the first letter “Dear Andy”… and no one who has known me more than ten minutes knows that I never have gone by “Andy”. (UGH)
Maybe the other Andrew Altenburg, the one who goes by ‘Andy’ is straight and got married, got a job just out of college and has two kids (a boy and a girl naturally) and currently is worrying about his 401k plan and what his mid-life crisis will look like (I’m thinking blonde and stacked).
My advice to you if you time trip back through your life via the internet is this: Identify yourself and assume the other person won’t remember you. It is not self deprecating to take this position as through our work and social life, we all go through the world meeting hundreds and hundreds (perhaps thousands depending on your line of work, how much you like to travel and how long you live). Sending a picture isn’t the worst idea either.
As for my new friend, she sounds fun and perky and perhaps she can introduce me to that other Andy Altenburg at some point. Wonder if he’ll remember me?
When Facebook re-appeared so did a collection of friends and acquaintances from years past and there seems to be no end to the excavation. Just when I think I’ve exhausted everyone I’ve ever met, along comes a friend request for someone ‘new’. And that’s just been pretty damn amazing. There are a couple people in particular that sent my heart into paroxysm of joy when I saw their name on the friend request and a couple that I simply went “oh, you’re kidding, right?” (these would be people who made my life difficult who now want to be ‘friends’… you’re kidding, right? I know it’s been mumblty mumble years but honestly, really? Friends? No way. Ignore!)
But this morning the unthinkable happened: I got an email from a woman all enthusiastic about reconnecting mentioning a reunion and other friends. She was so excited to be in touch with me and I momentarily got wrapped up in it until I realized: I have no earthly idea who this woman is.
Now, I can name pretty much everyone in my kindergarten class picture (me with the clip on tie and bright sunny smile) and I know the name of my first grade teacher (Miss Trinka) and I remember vividly all the people I worked with at Tarkington, O’Connor, O’Neill (it’s funny that I don’t have dreams about that place to be honest considering I was there when the SF earthquake happened) and I even remember a few names and faces from my couple summers as a drama camp counselor and definitely remember all the counselors I worked with the four summers I was at Lutheran Association of Southwest Camping. I can tell you various people that I temped with at Burson Marsteller both in Chicago and here in New York and I even remember the name of the delightful neighbor I had across the hall in my second favorite apartment of all time in Chicago for whom I helped pass a class in children’s literature (she also brought me Thanksgiving dinner one year when I was sick as dog). I could tell you the names of the people that I worked with at Disney when I temped there a few days every month for two years ….
But this woman, I have no idea.
So I wrote and explained that she might have the wrong Andrew Altenburg and her reply was “If there is another one of you, he is the exact same age & looks just like you and is from the same area!” to which I am left with more “who the hell is this woman?” thoughts. I also noticed that she addressed the first letter “Dear Andy”… and no one who has known me more than ten minutes knows that I never have gone by “Andy”. (UGH)
Maybe the other Andrew Altenburg, the one who goes by ‘Andy’ is straight and got married, got a job just out of college and has two kids (a boy and a girl naturally) and currently is worrying about his 401k plan and what his mid-life crisis will look like (I’m thinking blonde and stacked).
My advice to you if you time trip back through your life via the internet is this: Identify yourself and assume the other person won’t remember you. It is not self deprecating to take this position as through our work and social life, we all go through the world meeting hundreds and hundreds (perhaps thousands depending on your line of work, how much you like to travel and how long you live). Sending a picture isn’t the worst idea either.
As for my new friend, she sounds fun and perky and perhaps she can introduce me to that other Andy Altenburg at some point. Wonder if he’ll remember me?
